I don’t need to be scared because in the mindset of fear is chaos . The Lord has control, he is with me. He is patient and he is kind. He takes my hand and guides me through. He is the one who leads me to green pastures, where I can run through the field and not worry which way the grass flows. He is my healer and my portion. With him I am enough. He is more than enough. He leads me across still waters. Sometimes it feels like I am in that boat and he is right there in the middle of the storm stretching. Out his hand. I walk on the water with him, that water sometimes makes me feel like I am drowning. Then he picks me up and tells me I have enough strength with him. Jesus is more than enough. I don’t need to be In control he has control over everything. Even as a little girl he protected me. He wants to show me what it is like to be truly loved. Love that holds you tight and shows you that you are safe. The love that is steadfast and grows and grows and does not sway. He wants to fill my cup till it overflows like the ocean not in the waves, that is still. Like his peace that supposes all understanding. In the mists of all the trauma I know he is here leading me, showing me, and guiding me.
Dear Lord,
I want you to be the one that is in control, throughout everything, every dream, nightmare, bonding moment. That you would redeem everything. Will you be in the mist of every moment of my life. So I can find real joy in you. Help me realize that I am safe with you. I don’t need anxiety because perfect love casts out fear. You are my steady rock my source of healing. I don’t need to seek out anything but you. You are the one who loves. Truly truly you do. You are the one who knows my deepest darkest secrets and you still care. You know parts of my life I don’t even know yet. Though you still love me. You know my past, present and future. You are going to guide me through this pain and show me a way out. Even when it is scary you are the one in control. Jesus please help me know that I am loved and safe. That I don’t have to fear anymore. I don’t have to worry for what is to come or how hard healing is. You have given me the perfect timing to rely on you. Please show me that even in my triggers you are there. Even in bi polar, PTSD, or trauma or anxiety or depression you are in the mist of all of it. I don’t want to seek anything else but you. Help me have the heart knowledge not just the head knowledge of that. Help me to not feel like one foot in the door and one foot out the door. You are the lamp the light to my path. Even In the darkest of darkest valleys you are there. You call me your blood bought daughter. You call me brave. You call me yours. Jesus you cast out any anxiety or fear I feel. You are the one in control I give you control. You have all power and authority of my life. Let my life be a living sacrifice to you. Even when I feel unworthy, you chose me. You hand picked me, for this testimony of a mess that it is. You turned it into something beautiful, something I thought was impossible for your good. Continue to give me your peace and light my path. Thank you that you call me out by name. You say daughter come near you can trust in me. You don’t need to be worried I will never leave you. You can give it all to me. You don’t have to carry a weight of burdens on you. Your heart can be fully free. You can truly mean that. You are the author and foundation of my soul. My steady place. My source and my rock. You have given me a firm foundation. Not just head knowledge but deep in my soul. You have given me words I can’t even express. Let my word be yours, Holy Spirit guide me in everything I do, in the way I love. Jesus you are the ultimate truth and source of love. Love even though it’s a word I can’t begin to understand. You are showing me I can be truly lived, loved in your image. You are the alpha and the omega. You call me daughter and I can call you father. The perfect one. You chose me out of the billions of people, for this purpose for this testimony. Even in the most of the crazy parts of life knowing I can bear it if I trust in you. I give you all power of my story. Satan has no hold on me and my story because Lord you are in control. I am free surrounded by your heavenly host. Knowing you are near. I don’t need to go serving for you. You are here always protecting and guiding me. You are my safe place. You are my healer. You are Rapha and You call me yours. The hard things don’t define me you do. I can trust in you always and forevermore. Amen.
A girl who’s seen it all, wonderfully redeemed 